WASHINGTON, May 21, 2013 - Staggering statistics from the United States Office on Violence against Women (OVW) claim a woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States. Three women perish at the hands of abusers daily.

With all that is known today about domestic violence and the effect and cruelty of this behavior, why is this behavior on the rise in what is supposed to be a civilized culture? Many ask aloud, “What kind of low life inhuman freak of non-compassion could commit such acts on a partner they are supposed to love, care for, protect and cherish?”

The OVW defines domestic violence as “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.”

Studies from around the globe confirm that many abusers were victims of abuse as children. The abuse they inflict in turn as a result can be sexual, physical or emotional.

After the initial episode, additional episodes occur when tension mounts as the abuser attempts to control rage. The abused tries mightily to assuage the concerns of the abuser to avoid violence.

If there is an abusive event, the abuser typically will apologize profusely and declare the victim was at fault, yet promises to never do it again. At least until the next time.

Afterwards, the abuser will try to diminish the act by claiming the abused is making “a big deal out of nothing” and calm will settle in for a period of time. Calm for the abuser, an uneasy calm for the abused. Generally, the calm periods have shorter intervals as time goes on.

Victims of abuse can suffer severe, chronic depression. Quite often, they develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and feel hopeless and helpless. Exacerbating the problem, the victim may feel he or she has no place else to go, particularly disturbing if children are involved.

According to the Maryland Health Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse and a 2011 U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee report, of the 1.3 million victims of domestic violence, 37 percent of female victims of domestic violence are pregnant at the time of abuse. Most often, physical violence is directed to the abdominal area.

Abuse takes form in emotional, verbal, sexual and physical modalities. The type of people who commit abuse are jealous, controlling, keep the victim isolated out of fear of discovery, sexually demanding and selfish and have predetermined concepts of what roles their mate may play in life.

Their personality traits may be clever, charming, persuasive deceptive and manipulative. Coincidentally, these personality traits are equivalent in criteria for psychopaths, sociopaths and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, all extremelly difficult to treat with a low level of success. Cognitive behavioral therapy and psychotropic drugs can only do so much with these types of individuals.

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) reports 71 percent of abused women claim the household pet was abused or killed. This behavior is a classic sign of pending or ongoing domestic violence.

The rise of violence may have several sources ranging from media violence, confusing social constructs and the recent economic downfall causing high levels of stress and anxiety. Adding drugs or alcohol to the mix and the emotional precipice is no longer a barrier.

There are measures to take if one is abused. First, call the police. Second, work with an attorney and the courts to have a restaining order placed on the abuser. Restraining orders are generally good for a one year period. One can renew the restraining order annually if the threat of violence remains. However, be aware no piece of paper can stop a bullet, knife or fist.

Each state has a domestic victims advocacy group to assist with results of violence. One can seek out such groups and other government assist programs to deal with with the expereince(s) and heal from the physical and emotional pain.

There is no excuse for domestic violence nor should it be tolerated. If you feel your mate has the personality traits described, abused your house pet or seems to be bulging at the emotional seams and begins to threaten any form of abuse, run don’t walk to the nearest exit.

Keep in mind the figures represented are estimates based on reported cases. Many cases go unreported which must be taken int account.

Read more: http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/steps-authentic-happiness-positive-psychology/2013/may/21/domestic-violence-not-only-rise-its-pandemic/#ixzz2U2KMy5lO

The London Abused Women’s Centre – Report to the Community

During the 2012/13 fiscal year, the London Abused Women’s Centre (LAWC) provided 600 abused women with 2,908 hours of service and responded to 5,213 telephone calls.

Of the women served, 60% disclosed being sexually assaulted.  27% of those women disclosed being sexually assaulted by their intimate partners and 18% disclosed pornography used as a tactic during their sexual assault.

The agency provided ongoing outreach service to My Sisters’ Place, the Elgin-Middlesex Detention Centre and facilitated groups at Probation and Parole, Heartspace and the Community Group Treatment Program. The agency has an outreach protocol with 30 agencies and organizations to provide service to abused women off-site when the woman’s safety is of concern.

The agency’s largest public awareness campaign, Shine the Light on Woman Abuse, was an overwhelming success with 12 events held during the month of November resulting in a 125% increase in service demands. In addition, the International Women’s Day breakfast and auction event generated almost $50,000, all of which was directed towards front line service delivery. The agency was able to meet its goal of ensuring all abused women had immediate access to service.

The introduction of a drop-in program for women attending LAWC has been an overwhelming success. Available Monday to Thursday afternoons, LAWC clients can attend for safety planning and immediate triage support between appointments.

LAWC continued to provide its Making Connections and Women’s Support Groups throughout the year.

Public presentations were delivered throughout the Province and internationally on topics like The Impact of Pornography on Men, Women and Children; The Nordic Model – an Abolitionist View on Prostitution; Sex Trafficking; Woman Abuse; Shine the Light on Woman Abuse; The Silent Witness Project; Intimate Femicide; Women in Conflict with the Law; Advocacy for Action; and Value Women.

The agency continued to rely heavily on its solid base of volunteers who made a significant contribution to the agency’s success over the past year.  Volunteers provided their time and expertise on the Board of Directors, with fund development and special events, performing valuable childcare duties, and assisting with reception and administrative support. We are extremely grateful for their support.

We are also grateful to the community of London for its incredible generosity. When we have asked, Londoners have responded. The support shown to abused women and their children by individuals, groups, businesses, corporations, organized labour, sports teams and our funders has been overwhelming. We thank you.

Please go to www.lawc.on.ca to learn more about the London Abused Women’s Centre or follow us on Twitter or Facebook 

DETERMINED

Tuesday May 21, 2013
Registration 6:00pm
Windermere Manor
$35.00 includes dinner

See flyer below for more info!

by: Mike Maloney
London Community News

Getting bigger and better all the time, the second of six scheduled races in the 2013 London Honda Racing Series (LHRS) hit the streets of the Forest City on Friday (March 29) for the Downtown 5- and 2.5-kilomtre Fun Run.

Held in support of the London Abused Women’s Centre, an estimated 700 runners took the opportunity to come out and participate in the event under near perfect spring conditions.

As is tradition at this annual race, the morning got underway first with a 500-metre run for the kids. Next up was a 1-kilometre loop around Victoria Park for runners taking part in the CEO Challenge before featured 2.5- and 5-kilometre races took to the streets.

First across the line for the 2.5-kilometre event was Ethan Aarts from Lakeside in a time of 9:32, almost a full minute ahead of St. Thomas runner Sam Hardy while another St. Thomas natives, Arielle and Aitken-Guignard tripped the timer first for the ladies, covering the course in times of 11:20 and 11:21 respectively.

In the 5-kilometre event, it was a race to the wire between Alymer’s Kyle O’neill and London runner Adam Stacey with O’neill finishing first with a run of 15:09, two seconds faster than Stacey.

Leslie Sexton from London was first of the women racers to cross the finish line doing so in a time of 16:14

Click here for the full story and the multimedia from the event!

As a woman’s advocate, I’m exposed to a lot.

Horrific, mind numbing, soul-sucking things that no one should be exposed to.

I’ve had men call me while masturbating, threaten to gang rape me, spit on me, try to run me down on a bicycle while yelling ‘you man hating, lesbian bitch.’

I’ve been sent more hate filled emails than I can count and been called every name in the book. My husband has been called anonymously at his place of employment and told what he should do to me to “keep me in line.”

These men don’t know me. They only know my work, what I stand for and where I work.

They hate feminists not because as they so often say we hate men. They hate us because we make them accountable for the physical and psychological abuse they inflict on their intimate partners.

It’s been unsettling for sure and more than once I’ve been scared . . . scared enough to call the police. But I’ve never been as angry and filled with rage as I am now after seeing CNN’s coverage of the Steubenville rape trial. Even Chris Hatfield travelling in outer space would know CNN sympathized with the rapists while ignoring what it meant to be the 16-year-old victim.

Rage is not an emotion that comes easily to me. If I allowed rage to take over whenever it was merited, I could never be an effective advocate for the women our agency represents.

This time, Steubenville and CNN simply hit home. They took whatever room was left in the compartments where I store all my rage and busted them open. There is no place that I can stuff this rage any longer. CNN and their disgraceful coverage of the Steubenville rape have blown the doors off the hinges.

That popping is not only the hinges blowing off for me. It’s the sound of hinges blowing off the doors of so many other women and men who feel the same rage for what happened and how CNN portrayed it.

I’m a mom to three daughters, a sister to three sisters, an aunt to two nieces, a friend to many girlfriends and a colleague to many women working in a feminist workplace providing advocacy, support and counselling to women abused by their intimate partners.

It’s not difficult to understand. Abuse is quite simple. All women are potential victims of violence and abuse because of their gender. It’s not because they drink too much, are out too late at night leading men on, picking the wrong men, wearing provocative clothes or doing anything else. It’s because some men believe women are to be used, abused and discarded. And, when a woman dares report her assault or rape? She is gets the CNN treatment . . . blamed, shamed and then has to listen to misplaced compassion for the perpetrator.

I certainly know that not all men believe this and not all men abuse. But, the majority of abusers are men. When abusive men abuse and rape and good men remain silent whether they are good or not, they too bear the stigma of abusers. Their silence says they don’t believe the issue is important enough to be heard on.

We need all these good men to speak out now. Some are doing just that but there aren’t enough of them. Why is there not a massive public outcry from men loudly speaking out against rape culture and CNN’s collusion with rapists? Why are women working day and night to tweet and re-tweet petitions, blogs, stories and information on advertisers to boycott?

Why is Roseanne Barr the only celebrity to publicly speak out against CNN? Where is Michael Moore? You can bet if CNN had sympathized with shooters rather than those they killed in massacres, he’d be front and centre in the protest. Why is he silent on the rape of women?

Doing the right thing is not something you select like you do groceries on a shelf.

We will never see an end to the war on women until MEN choose to end it. It is the choice of men to buy women to live their fantasies of rape and torture. It is the choice of men to rape women. It is the choice of men to abuse women. It is the choice of men to rip the souls from women every time they act on their belief that women are but one more item to own and they get what they deserve.

CNN’s President Jeff Zucker has failed to apologize to the public for its coverage of Steubenville. I’m not surprised. He is a man, a man of power and privilege who can do the right thing and won’t.

That makes my rage even more difficult to contain.

http://www.change.org/petitions/cnn-apologize-on-air-for-sympathizing-with-the-steubenville-rapists

It was 40 years ago that I was raped. I have thought of it every day since. I remember the details, the pain, the humiliation.

I was 14-years-old.

Now 40-years later I’m made to feel like I did that day because society refuses to understand.

It was during the summer. I was a guest of my friend and her family at their cottage about an hour’s drive from my home.

The cottage was located in a popular, beach front area. The cottage owners were a close knit group of friends who had grown up together, spending their summers and weekends together.

During the first few nights, my friend and I would meet on the beach with a group of other kids and sit by a bonfire. Some would bring guitars. There was always alcohol. I would never participate.

I caught one boy’s attention. The only thing I remember about him now is that he was 18 year’s old. I remember it because that was the legal drinking age back then and he would always be the one buying the beer. He kind of flirted with me but I was shy then and the flirting was not reciprocated.

One day on the beach, I got a horrible sunburn so went back to the cottage to read. I was wearing a brown bikini. I remember that because I had bought it especially for my trip to the cottage. I was reading on a couch in the cottage when he came in. He sat for a minute on the end of the couch not saying much. I can’t remember how, but suddenly he was lying on top of me kissing me so hard I felt suffocated. I couldn’t move or shout. My bikini bottom was being pulled down and his penis was being forced inside me. The pain was unbearable. The weight of his body, the suffocation I felt from his tongue in my mouth and the pain from his penis paralyzed me. I couldn’t move.

When he finished, he got up, pulled up his swimming trunks, grabbed a beer from the fridge and went back to the beach. I lay there for a while, still with my bathing suit bottoms pulled down. When I heard voices, I got up and went to the bathroom. I was bleeding. I ran a shower and stayed in the bathroom for a long time.

When I got out, I called my mother to tell her she had to come pick me up. I told her I had started my period and had bad cramps. She was so excited for me. It would be a celebration! My first period. I had become a woman. I was too filled with shame to tell her what really happened. I told no one.

I told my friend my mother was coming because I had started my period. She too was excited. She sat with me asking a million questions. “What does it feel like?” “What did your Mom say?” “Can I tell the other girls?” I became the go-too person for advice as each one of my friends got their first periods. Ironically, I was the last of my friends to actually start a period at age 16. There was no one to celebrate with, no one to advise me. I went through it alone, having celebrated a false first period after being raped at the age of 14.

Emotionally, I bleed every day about what was done to me.

I’ve thought of that day each day for the last 40 years telling no one but my husband. Only he knows my secret. I told no one because 40 years ago, if a girl or woman was raped, it was automatically her fault. She was to blame for doing something wrong. For being too pretty, or too flirty, or too this or too that. If a girl or woman dared to come out and accuse a boy or man of rape, she was accused of trying to ruin him and she and her family were targeted and blackballed. To protect me and my family, I kept my secret.

I hoped that today, 40 years later, girls and women would not have to lie or keep secrets anymore.

How silly of me. How silly of all women to hope it might change.

I followed the story of Jane Doe and the Steubenville rape trial. Jane Doe suffered in 2012/13 what I know I would have suffered in 1972.

Jane Doe’s courage and bravery wasn’t even mentioned in the media. With every opportunity to acknowledge the courage and resilience of a 16 year old girl, CNN instead chose to collude with her rapists. CNN’s Candy Crowley asked “What is the lasting effect of two young men being guilty in juvenile court of rape essentially?” Why didn’t she ask, “What is the lasting effect of a 16 year old girl who was raped by two men and then had naked pictures of her sent around through social media?”

Why? Why? Why?

CNN’s Poppy Harlow said, “It’s incredibly difficult to watch as these two young men, who had such promising futures, star football players, very good students, literally watched as they believe their lives fell apart.” Why didn’t she say, “It’s been incredibly difficult to watch and hear how this young 16 year old woman, with such a promising future, an honours student, was literally passed out and unconscious while these two men raped her, dragged her around like she was worthless and took her pictures in humiliating and degrading poses for the world to see. I can only hope the community stands with her and supports her as she seeks to put the pieces of her life back together.”

Why? Why? Why?

I am a 54 year old woman. My life changed when I was 14 years old because an 18-year-old man decided I was worth no more than a blow up doll that he would insert his penis into without permission. It has remained with me every day.  What gave me hope was that other women in the future would not endure the same level of horror, pain and feelings of destitution that I endured.

Those in the media, particularly at CNN, and those in society who continue to re-victimize women who are raped and violated are no better than the rapists themselves.

They make it easy for men to rape. They make it harder for women to come forward after they’ve been raped. They make it almost impossible for women to find real justice and peace.

Why? Why? Why?

International Women’s Day 2013 

Zero Tolerance for Violence Against Women is the Goal – Make it Happen

Megan Walker, Executive Director, London Abused Women’s Centre

On International Women’s Day, 1996, Arlene May was shot and killed by her ex-partner before he killed himself. He had forced himself into her home and barricaded her three children in a closet before letting them go. The murder was shocking but for those who understand the issue, hardly a shock. There had been a history of abuse, police and court involvement.

Arlene`s murder resulted in a Coroner`s inquest. “Until we as a country stand up and declare a ‘Zero Tolerance’ for domestic violence, this problem will not only continue, but in this jury’s opinion, will escalate,” read the Coroner’s statement. “Domestic violence cases are different than other criminal cases. In most situations the accused and the victim would normally never meet again. With domestic violence, the accused often must have contact with the victim due to property, support and child issues.”

It`s been 17 years since that statement was made. In those 17 years, we have continued to bury women and children in this country, all of whom have been killed by men who they trusted to love and protect them and to share a healthy, happy life with.

Instead, many are a statistic. Remembered by those who loved them and by the people who worked so hard to protect and help them. But to so many others, they remain a statistic, a statistic that is neither understood nor widely acknowledged.

Brian Vallee reported in his book The War on Women that between the years 2000 and 2006, 44 Canadian soldiers were killed in Afghanistan. At home, 16 law enforcement officers were killed in the line of duty, while another 41 died from “non-hostile” causes.

The combined total of all Canadian military and law enforcement deaths for that seven-year period was 101.

During that same period, 500 Canadian women were shot, stabbed, strangled, or beaten to death by their current of former intimate male partners.

Whenever a police officer is shot or killed in the line of duty, hundreds, if not thousands, of police officers from all over North America gather for the funeral. When someone in the military is killed in the line of duty, the body is met at the airport by dignitaries, the highway overpass on the stretch of the 401 now called the Highway of Heroes is filled with people honouring his or her life, and the national media makes it front page news.

That’s as it should be. These men and women deserve our support and respect.

But, what of the women who lose their lives because of the war in their homes? Are they less deserving of that same support and respect?

One in four women in Canada will be abused by her intimate partner.

They too are casualties of war – the war on women. Some survive. Others won’t. Those that survive do so with scars that are as emotionally and physically debilitating as any who have suffered a traumatic, horrifying experience.

The London Abused Women’s Centre is fortunate to work with so many survivors who are the bravest and most courageous amongst us.  Not only have they survived, but they have taken on the fight for many women who can’t.

Women like Debbie Ratelle, whose children Ashley and Stephanie Daubs were murdered by her ex-husband when she left him. Despite her horrific pain and grief, Debbie is a strong champion to end violence and abuse against women.

Women like Jennifer Morse, whose mother Brenda-Lee Chillingworth was murdered by her ex-partner. Jen, now shares her experiences in Ottawa with police officers and women’s advocates.

We are also supported by many incredible men who have women in their lives they love. They do what they can to end the war on women with the understanding that if the violence is to stop, it isn’t women who will stop it.

Maybe it’s you personally who has been impacted by abuse, or your daughter, sister, mother or another woman you love; but we all know at least one woman who is a member of the most populated club in the world. It is not an exclusive club. No one asks to join. It is forced membership for women. Every woman is a potential member for no other reason than her gender. The club has at least one billion members worldwide. It’s the Abused Woman Club.

Abused women don’t often tell others about their membership in the club. Despite their incredible strength, courage and resilience, they are often blamed and shamed upon entry – not only by their abusers, but by society as well.

In speaking of the lives of abused women, undoubtedly, the conversation becomes one of their choices. Their choice to stay or leave. No wonder abused women feel they are to blame for their own abuse. No wonder women feel shame. It is that shame and self-blame that keeps women silent and prevents them from seeking help.

We rarely hear about the choice of men to abuse the women in their lives.

Zero tolerance for woman abuse is as achievable as the achievement of zero tolerance for drinking and driving. It starts with an understanding that, like drinking and driving, woman abuse impacts society. It harms us all.

We need each of you – men and women – to stand up for women, to hold men accountable, to shift the blame and shame women feel to the abusive men where it belongs, and to advocate for institutional, cultural and systemic changes to protect women. We need you to champion the cause for women.

We need you to recognize that abused women are the strongest, most courageous and resilient women we know. Rather than blaming women, we need to acknowledge every day how women find the strength to either leave violent and abusive relationships – or stay – in the face of the odds that are stacked against them.

17 years ago, Arlene May was shot and killed by her ex-partner. In some ways we’ve come a long way. In others, we’ve gone almost nowhere. Women and society cannot wait another 17 years to make things better. It cannot tolerate hundreds of more women being killed simply because they are women. If there’s anything you can remember on this International Women’s Day, remember those women who continue to fight for their dignity and safety and the dignity and safety of those women who on an everyday basis are abused, beaten, traumatized and killed.

Strong, courageous women work every day against abuse because we know it can be stopped. With the commitment and passion of men, we can save the lives of women and children in this country. We can end the war on women.

By Sheryl Rooth

Her smile was the first thing I saw when I walked through the door. She didn’t know me from Eve. And it wasn’t a phony “I’m doing it because I have to” smile. It was a genuine, “I’m so happy you’re here” smile. The kind that raises the warmth in a room, that forces you to shed a little of your armour. This is a safe place, a comforting place. This is London Abused Women’s Centre.
As I waited for Megan Walker, the Executive Director of LAWC to bound from her office with her usual exhuberance, I looked around the lobby quickly as I shook the snow from my coat. It was inviting. It was uplifting. It has to be. This is where women can come to breathe and to find shelter from a constant storm of fists, destructive words and abuse.
Megan proudly showed me around LAWC and introduced me to the amazing team of staff and volunteers. It’s a maze of small counselling offices, program rooms, even a playroom for children full of brightly coloured toys and books. During my visit after hours, it was quiet. But if you listened closely, you could hear it…the sounds of tears, anger and frustration like ghosts in each room. What I could feel however, what would hang on my shoulders like a cloak long after I left, was this unrelenting hope amid the quest for survival and peace. It brought tears to my eyes to feel it. It brought joy to my heart to know that hope was there.
On Friday March 1, LAWC held their 13th Annual International Woman’s Day Breakfast and Silent Auction. The theme this year was Strong Women, Strong Leadership, Strong World. Amidst the crowd of nearly 600, you could hear laughter and pleasant chatter over coffee and pastries. There were many familiar female faces, but what I focused on were the male leaders in our community. Like Director of Education for the TVDSB Bill Tucker, London Police Services Chief Brad Duncan, Councillor Paul Hubert, former MPP Chris Bentley and London Lightening coach Michael Ray Richardson. All are men who contribute and have the ability to make change happen in this city. When they speak, people listen. And this is the time for men to speak up. Not just those with the ear of the press, everyday Joe’s have a voice that needs to be heard, because until all women are safe, no woman is safe.
There are one billion women worldwide who are abused in some form. It is the goal of LAWC and other like-minded agencies to see zero tolerance toward violence against women. And while Megan Walker, the LAWC team and all women strive towards that goal, it’s not something women can do on our own. We can’t do it without the help of men. Those doing the crime have to be held accountable, especially by those who hold the power to speak up and make changes.
I asked Megan if she ever gets overwhelmed at the sheer enormity of the problem. She smiled at me and said “Every time a woman walks through that door, it’s a step forward.” She compared it to a time when her grandmother and all women in Canada were not considered persons. We’ve come a long way, but we’ve got a long way to go.
When women are in relationships that are abusive, they often feel the shame of society, as though choice is always black and white. Just leave. Get out. Move on. It’s easy to say, but what we don’t consider is the courage these women have who fight for their life every day. The choices they have to make to see another sunrise without a bruise, a broken bone or even just to be alive, often doesn’t allow them the freedom of leaving. Children, money, crippling fear, isolation…pick one or pick them all, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that organizations like the London Abused Women’s Centre is there, as a beacon in the darkest of days. If you are a woman who needs help, don’t wait. Call 519-432-2204. For crisis counselling, call the Abused Women’s Helpline at 519-642-3000. You can also visit www.lawc.on.ca for more information.

CLICK HERE FOR THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE

The 13^th Annual International Women’s Day Breakfast and Auction took place Mar. 1 at the Best Western Lamplighter Inn in the city’s south end.

“This year we changed the format which allows more people to come,” said Megan Walker, executive director, London Abused Women’s Centre.

Walker said the LAWC is also launching a new two-part campaign today with a focus on ending violence against women and ending prostitution. Billboards and posters with the slogan “It’s the law. Don’t assault us,” will soon be seen around the city.

“(The second part of the campaign) is ‘I am not for sale’ which is about ending woman abuse and ending prostitution,” Walker said. “Our agency believes very strongly that all women who are prostituted are abused women.”

More than 500 people attended the breakfast this morning, which carried the theme “Strong women, strong leadership, strong world.”

“(We’re) honouring all women — particularly who are survivors, who we believe are the strongest — particularly for their resilience and courage, ” Walker said. “They are incredible women.”

The well-attended event saw representation from city hall with councillors Matt Brown, Paul Hubert, Joni Baechler and Judy Bryant in attendance. London sports teams — London Lightning and London Majors — also came out in support of LAWC. Also in attendance were MPs Irene Mathyssen and Ed Holder. Former Liberal MPP Chris Bentley was also among the speakers at the event.

“We’ve been overwhelmed by the support our agency gets from London and it just continues, ” Walker said. “We’re absolutely delighted and humbled by it.”

In addition to an elaborate breakfast spread, attendees also enjoyed a silent auction as well as a live auction with Grant Gardner of Gardner Galleries.

Click here for the full story

Mr. Speaker, yesterday, at the Status of Women committee, I introduced a motion to study the 1993 equality action plan from the Canadian panel on violence against women. My motion calls on the committee to examine the document and develop an action plan to address its recommendations.

The report calls on our governments to fulfill their international commitments with respect to women’s equality, including equality rights, access to the legal system, political participation, zero tolerance for violence and accountability and monitoring mechanisms to ensure the action plan is reviewed and followed.

The panel believes that when equality is achieved, then women will be truly empowered to protect themselves. We have been waiting for 20 years for this report to be addressed. We have an obligation as parliamentarians to every woman who has been abused or assaulted. We have an obligation to stand up and ensure they have equality.

The link to the post on Irene’s website is here:

http://irenemathyssen.ca/post/statement-on-equality-action-plan-motion

From London City Hall, to the Forks of the Thames, to Niagara Falls.

On December 6th, the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women, one of the world’s most famous landmarks will be going purple.

Both the Canadian, and American side of the Falls will be illuminated in London’s “Shine the Light on Woman Abuse” campaign’s signature colour.

“We have three times available to us that they will light the falls up on 6 p.m., 7 p.m. and 8 p.m.,” said Megan Walker, Executive Director of the London Abused Women’s Centre.

“It’s just a really significant day, and really will honour the lives of women and children.”

The campaign is aimed at creating awareness about woman abuse. It kicked off at the beginning of this month and will wrap up this weekend.

“It’s so critical that men and women stand together and take action to end violence against women,” Walker said.

“There is hope and help in communities across this province. All women have the right to live their life free from violence, and services are available to help them in doing that.”

Seven cities across the Province took part in the campaign this year, including Woodstock, Windsor, Ottawa and Toronto.

Click here for the story on AM980.ca

London businesses and individuals are being asked to “turn purple” for the month of November.

November is Woman Abuse and Prevention Month in Ontario.

Here in London, the Abused Women’s Centre has launched its 3rd annual Shine The Light campaign, with the lighting of a purple tree in Victoria Park last night.

Centre Director Megan Walker believes the awareness the campaign creates, saves lives.

Despite the increase in demand, Walker says they never have a waiting list and any woman who needs assistance gets a meeting within a week.

There is one simple goal for putting up purple lights or wearing purple clothing.

Thursday November 15th is Wear Purple Day to show support for abused women.  The Centre is selling a number of purple-themed items with all proceeds to the Centre’s work.

Click here for the story on Blackburnnews.com

A month long campaign to put woman abuse in the spotlight is officially underway.

Dozens of people gathered in Victoria Park Thursday night for the lighting of the tree for the “Shine the Light on Woman Abuse” campaign, organized by the London Abused Women’s Centre.

This year, the campaign will spread to seven other cities across the province including Windsor, Ottawa and Toronto.

“I am so excited, this is phenomenal,” said Megan Walker, the executive director of the London Abused Women’s Centre.

“To see this many people come out on a rainy day to support the London Abused Women’s Centre and abused women, it warms my heart.”

This year’s campaign is dedicated to the lives of Stephanie and Ashley Daubs.

The 12 and 15-year-old London girls were killed by their father when he intentionally drove a van into the path of a dump truck.

“It’s been very successful, it’s something everyone can do and it’s very easy,” said Gabriela Cameto, a survivor and advocate for the Toronto campaign.

“All you have to do is put up some lights or wear something purple. It’s something that’s very simple but has a huge message, and can have a real impact on women going through an abusive situation.”

London City Hall will once again be illuminated in purple – the campaign’s signature colour.

As well, dozens of businesses and schools will be taking part.

‘Wear Purple Day’ will be Thursday, November 15th.

That’s when Londoners will be asked to wear purple to show their support for the campaign.

“I’m just really, really excited today that there’s so much hope and help available for women being abused,” Walker said.

Campaign fundraisers and events will run all month.

Full details can be found here.

Click HERE for the story on AM980.ca

By Randy Richmond, The London Free Press

The purple light that London shines on women abuse will be spreading to several other communities in Ontario, organizers of the city’s Shine the Light campaign announced Thursday.

“We are becoming bigger and better,” Megan Walker, executive director of London Abused Women’s Centre (LAWC) shouted to applause at Victoria Park.

Through the Ontario Association of Interval and Transition Houses survivors’ group, the campaign is spreading to Windsor, Toronto, Woodstock, Amherstburg, Sault Ste. Marie, Marathon, Oshawa and Ottawa, Walker announced.

“It’s just incredible,” Walker added after the traditional lighting of a tree at Victoria Park to start the local campaign. “We know that this is an issue that exists in every community across the country. So to share what we have started is just really really exciting.”

The Shine the Light on Woman Abuse campaign encourages Londoners to light their homes and businesses in purple to raise awareness of abuse against women.

With nearby city hall already awash in purple lights, several dozen supporters watched provincial Health Minister and London North Centre MPP Deb Matthews push the switch to light up a tree in purple.

“This is wonderful night,” Matthews said. “This is a very serious issue but I think it’s so wonderful that these purple lights are saying (to abused women), you don’t have to do this alone. A whole community is with you.”

The Shine the Light campaign includes dozens of events, including Wear Purple Day Nov. 15. For more information, go to lawc.on.ca/shinethelight.

Click here for the story on LFPress.com

Mrs. Susan Truppe (London North Centre, CPC): Mr. Speaker, today I rise in the House to express my support for a women’s group in my riding. Our government has made women’s issues a top priority and is working hard with women across this country to end violence against women and girls.

 In October, I was pleased to attend the 2012 launch of the London Abused Women’s Centre’s Shine the Light on Woman Abuse campaign. The goal of this campaign has been to raise awareness around the issue of woman abuse and its effect on society. Organizations, schools, neighbourhoods and places of worship across London will be asked to participate by wearing purple.

This year, the Shine the Line on Woman Abuse campaign is in honour of Ashley and Stephanie Daubs. These two beautiful girls were brutally murdered by their father. I was pleased to recently meet their mother, Debbie Ratelle, who shared her story with us.

Today, I am pleased that for the second year in a row, members from both sides of the House are joining me in wearing purple in support of the Shine the Light on Woman Abuse campaign. I would like to congratulate the London Abused Women’s Centre, especially executive director, Megan Walker, for her tireless work in “shining the light on woman abuse”.

Ms. Irene Mathyssen (London—Fanshawe, NDP): Mr. Speaker, the abuse of women is an unacceptable tragedy that affects women from all walks of life. It is often left unspoken, swept under the rug. But the Shine the Light on Woman Abuse Campaign started by the London Abused Women’s centre in 2010, aims to change that reality and get women the help they need and deserve.

Because of raised awareness during the shine the light campaign in November 2011, service demands in London increased by 125%. That demand has remained constant and during the summer of 2012, more than 600 women, their families or friends called for support or information to help a loved one who was being abused. That volume of calls was unprecedented in the centre’s 30-year history.

I am grateful that this very successful awareness campaign has spread to seven communities across Ontario and I share the dream of shining a purple light in every community in Canada

With everyone’s help, we can spread the message of courage, survival and hope. We can finally end woman abuse.

What it’s like being a teen girl

The violations started small. I was 12, fairly tall with brand new boobs. My mother wouldn’t let me buy “real bras” for a long time. It didn’t occur to me that was weird until boys in my class started advising me to “stop wearing sports bras” because I was looking a little “saggy.”

It was a boy who told me I had to start shaving my legs if I wanted anyone to ever like me. I said that wasn’t true. He laughed in my face and called me a dyke.

That night after shaving, my mother asked me why I was so vain.

They started finding reasons to touch me, pinching my butt, snapping my new “real bras,” (“They look a lot better. Did you stuff?”) or straight-up grabbing my breasts. Dropped pencils with awkward leanovers. Staged run-ins.

One time, a popular boy I knew who lived on my street forced his way into my living room while my parents were still working and fought with me over a remote control so that he could cop a feel. I didn’t say anything. Speaking up was not an option—rather, an easy road to being even more ostracized and labelled “crazy.” Besides, who would believe that he’d wanted to touch me?

They named girls one by one, by the flaws of our bodies. What they considered theirs. They would write them on chalkboards to taunt us. Draw crude pictures.

If we showed it hurt us, it only got worse. I would cry in the bathroom and hope for some serious illness to keep me out of school, if only for a day.

When I kissed one boy, he encouraged me to do the same with his friends. Not because he thought I might want to, but because I was a toy he wanted to share. An experience he wanted to give his less “successful” friends. For them, a celebration. For me, certain social suicide.

Even if I wanted it, there was never any winning.

I will never forget how excited I was to be invited to watch a movie with the popular boy I liked. I primped for hours. (I was, after all, a teenager grappling with my own new sexuality.) When I got there, he did not put on the movie we agreed to watch, but a porn film. I had never seen one before. He unzipped his pants, pushed and pulled at me. I cried the whole walk home.

They could pinpoint weaknesses. Worse, they knew they were wrong but there were just never any consequences. They knew this—treating us like objects there for them—was what was expected of them.

I want to say that they stop. But the truth is that some never do.

I have never stopped being reminded of my there-for-men status. I am reminded when I am violated in my sleep, or groped in a bar, or held down by a longtime friend. I am reminded when I refuse conversation with a strange man and he spits in my direction, or calls me a “bitch.” I am reminded when I am asked why I wore such a pretty dress if I wasn’t trying to “pick up.” I am reminded when I am told to be less angry and more agreeable. I am reminded when I talk about my lived experience and am told to “stop being so negative about everything.” I am reminded when young girls are bullied so severely by men who wanted to see their bodies that they commit suicide.

We don’t talk honestly enough about what it’s like being a teen girl. If we did talk about it, what it was like for us, perhaps we wouldn’t be so harsh on them. Perhaps we wouldn’t throw our hands up in the air and exclaim “oh, teen girls, they’re so difficult!” Perhaps they wouldn’t be so scary. Perhaps we’d see their lives for the small and large violations they’re often made up of; and what those violations do.

Perhaps we would have been less surprised today when we learned that a fifteen-year-old boy was arrested on the scene of a sexual assault, in connection with a series of sexual assaults occurring in the Bloor and Christie area of Toronto. Perhaps we would be less shocked by the fact that it’s 12-17 year old boys who are the most likely to commit sexual assault (Statistics Canada, pg. 13). That is, after all, what they were doing to me.

My stories are not uncommon. They’re more common than we want to think. As my friend Panic said: “Ask anyone who is or has been a teenaged girl. 15-yr-old boys assaulting women is common. It’s ‘normal.’” It’s so normal, in fact, that we don’t talk about it until we’re women and we know it doesn’t have to be.

Pretty much everything in North American culture tells men and boys that women and girls are there for them. So please, do us some favours. Stop telling us that we have to take self defence. Stop telling us we shouldn’t drink or go out at night or on dates. Stop telling us that we need to be prepared for whatever “boys-be-boys” violations come our ways, because it’s bullshit. We don’t have to accept this or carry it around in silence.

Start talking with men and boys about the messages they’re getting about women and girls. Tell them that they are not entitled to our bodies, no matter what. Talk to them honestly and comprehensively about sexualization and objectification. Stop being afraid to talk about boundaries, sex, and pleasure—leaving that to schools, the Internet, and peers is simply not cutting it. Show them what consent really looks like.

And this sounds basic, but remind them that we’re, you know, people? We deserve at least that much.

By Patrick Maloney, The London Free Press

Dale Henderson’s rough week at city hall isn’t over — and right now, next week’s not looking so hot, either.

Days after taking heat for calling the Canadian Cancer Society’s anti-cigarette stance “politically correct,” and making a slew of other comments, the Ward 9 councillor faces renewed flak over insults he publicly hurled at two city departments.

Henderson recently called the planning division “vindictive” in some recommendations and, for good measure, tossed the engineering department under the bus in a subsequent Free Press interview.

Those shots at city staff are also turning up the heat on Mayor Joe Fontana and, by extension, new city manager Art Zudeima.

Some council members have been quietly pushing to have one or both ensure Henderson publicly apologizes when council meets Tuesday night.

And on Thursday, the activist who helped craft city hall’s anti-harassment program took things a step further, saying Henderson’s insults suggest the culture shift making 300 Dufferin Ave. a more peaceful workplace could be eroding.

“Never did we have a council member publicly, verbally abuse a senior manager,” said Megan Walker, executive director of the London Abused Women’s Centre.

“If Coun. Henderson said ‘I’m extremely concerned about this report because you missed the environmental aspect (that’s OK),’ but when you say ‘this is vindictive’ that is an attack on character.”

Walker tried unsuccessfully to have her letter on the issue added to the planning committee report heading to council Tuesday.

It underscores another recent controversy — city hall’s lack of an integrity commissioner to enforce council’s code of conduct.

In her letter, Walker, a councillor from 1994 to 2000, made the case that Henderson’s ‘vindictive’ comment breached the rules of conduct outlawing “engaging in a course of vexatious comment that is known or ought reasonably to be known to be unwelcome.”

Without an integrity watchdog, though, there’s no simple mechanism to enforce the code of conduct — reducing it, as one politician said, to just a piece of paper. Council voted last month to stop the process of potentially implementing an integrity commissioner.

Through a spokesperson, Fontana declined comment Thursday.

Henderson’s shot at planning and engineering staff may have been one-upped this week when a Canadian Cancer Society volunteer getting her PhD in cancer research addressed politicians mulling tougher city bylaws against outdoor smoking.

She strongly supported the tougher rules. Henderson, who says he smokes cigars, advised her to bring some “real research” and later called the organization’s anti-smoking stance “politically correct.”

The PhD candidate, Stephanie Dorman, said she was “stunned” by the comments.

So here we are, and Walker says her real concern is the entire dust-up will scare city bureaucrats into censoring themselves in future: “It creates a culture of fear because everybody wonders ‘Am I going to be next?’ ”

Maybe. Maybe not.

Either way, this unfortunate episode can be finished easily Tuesday with two words from Henderson — ‘I’m sorry.’

It’s time to stub out this controversy before it really catches fire.

CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY ON LFPRESS.COM